Dear Readers

Dear Readers (and writers, a whole lot of you, apparently),

I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you for your supportive and sweet emails this last week. I mean, it's one thing to have my in-real-life friends around me to feed me cheese and wine and to watch silly movies with me and sing the entire RENT soundtrack with me and to allow me to smoke in their living rooms and help me fill out dating profiles and ramble on late into the night. It's another thing to read emails from my readers, virtual strangers, reaching out and saying how much my writing has mattered to them and that they hope I feel better soon. It just really blows my mind to conceive that I've had that sort of effect. You do seem to CARE. Incredible.

I'm not faking modesty. I swear, it's just sometimes--I forget that people are reading this. Well, at least a part of me forgets. I think that has to happen in order for me to share things the way I do. I always try to be honest. And you appreciate that. And that makes me happy. That gives me a sort of writerly thrill, but also a basic human thrill. To be heard the way I want to be heard. To be understood. And to commune with others through my writing. Indeed, this is a collaboration of sorts between us all--between myself and my lovers, between myself and my readers. We all seem to work together, in a way.

Really. Your emails. Have touched me. And put me on the road to recovery much sooner than I thought I'd get there. Which is, in a word, awesome. And totally powerful.

I don't have the slow constant ache anymore, thankfully. It's occasional jabs of pain now. Which are easier to deal with, really. Unexpected, but that's a good thing. That I don't know they're coming. Yes, I'm doing better. I feel better!

Fuck. I'm getting emotional again. I get emotional when I think about my emotions rather than feel them. Isn't that strange? Isn't that a strange way to go about feeling? Or maybe it's just the grown-up way.

In any case, thank you. This blog and my readers have helped me more than you'll ever know. And not just at this time. During many times this past year. Shoot, I've almost been blogging for a year now. I can't believe it. I didn't think it would last. But it has. And I'm turning 30 soon. Sigh. Landmarks, red-letter dates, marriages. Just kidding about the marriage part. :)

I'll write you all an actual story soon. Something kinked up and sweet. Promise. This mushy crap is nice and all but we're still looking to get off, in the end, aren't we? We are. And to that I say: Thank Goodness.

xo,
Janie