Strap-On Adventures: Part I. Jerking Off

I am by myself. I am taking the day off from work. I have decided to hang out in my apartment wearing only a strap-on. He bought it. It is his. Though, it is mine, for now. He's letting my have some alone time with it. With my new cock.

The harness itself is soft leather, pretty cherry red. One a lot of girls buy, I suspect. It's terribly comfortable. Though it takes me a good twenty minutes to figure out exactly how tight the harness needs to be and where the cock needs to rest, I find the whole process of putting it on and strapping myself in--as it were--incredibly arousing.

The cock itself is jet black. Just over seven inches. Not too thick. The head is realistic and kinda perfect looking. There's a vein or two running down the side. It's very smooth. Bouncy. Definitely erect. Definitely a good-sized cock. Bigger than most I run into. It's really the perfect size for me. If I had one of my own, in real life, it would be just about this size, I think to myself.

I look at myself in the mirror. I have no bra on. My eyes look tired and sexy from so much the night before. My lips look used and pink and full. My nipples made hard by the cold air in the apartment. My tits, a couple which are a couple feet above my shiny black cock--this sight is very fucking hot to me. I don't think I've ever felt such an attraction to my own reflection. I turn sideways. I stare at my cock, curved upward ever so slightly. I start thrusting my hips and back and forth a bit. I grab my tits and continue the thrusting. The base of the dildo is just barely grazing my cunt and yet I can tell I'm getting sopping wet. Just from the sight of this. Just from the motion of back and forth. I stick my hand out to touch the invisible head of a curly haired boy on his knees in front of me. I imagine his tight mouth around my cock. Suddenly, I spit in my hand and start to stroke. Slowly. Corkscrew strokes. I bite my bottom lip. I turn around to face the mirror again. One hand on my cock, the other on my right breast. I imagine his ass in the air, facing me. The tip of my cock teasing his ass. I spit on my hand again and get the cock really slick and even harder. I hear my hand make the wet noises against the head and I close my eyes. I stop moving my hand and start thrusting my cock through it, fucking my clenched fist. I laugh. I imagine all the ways boys and men with bio-cocks must try jerking off. I'm sure it's endless.

I sit on the couch. I stare down at my cock. I tap it ever so gently. It springs up. I remember a porno where a guy would literally slap his own cock very hard. It was like a trick. It would come bouncing back up like a diving board. I was amazed. This cock is not as big as his. But it is springy.

I find some porn. A cute boy sucking a big man's cock on his knees in some tan and navy blue hotel room. I try to match my strokes with the boy's mouth going up and down on the big man's cock. Suddenly, the boy licks the ridge of the big man's cock, using just the tip of his tongue. And suddenly I remember my clit. Seeing his tongue do that brings my clit back into existence and I press the dildo hard against it. Now I am barely stroking. I am grabbing my cock hard by the base and pressing it back onto my clit. Suddenly I remember I have another hand. I start jerking the head of my cock really hard while pushing the cock onto my cunt. Suddenly, the big man in the clip starts to cum, grunting hard. I am getting close myself, pushing the cock against my crotch, breathing heavy and short now. And then I stop pushing, and I start thinking: when I fuck this boy hard enough, this thing will melt into my cunt and I will cum. Or if I wear a double-dildo--God, imagine if I could squirt and fuck a boy's ass at the same time. Could this happen? Could it? Could I soak him as he cums on my sheets? Could that happen?

And then all of a sudden, I press the cock against my clit hard and move it ever so slightly back and forth, still jerking the head, and I think of my gush spraying his thighs as I fuck him from behind, and here on the couch, wearing my first strap-on cock: I cum. I don't squirt. But I do cum. I take off the harness, I walk to my bedroom, I place it on the bureau. I look at the red leather and the shiny cock and I smile.

And I want to tell the world.

This is something new. I mean, I've thought about it soooo much but never, well... this is something so hot, it makes me want to cry. It does. It is self-actualization though I have little idea what I'm doing with it yet, with this cock. It's like learning a new language. So many words I don't the meanings of yet, but like the sounds of. And want to learn how to use.

The night before, he just lied down, on his back and said, Whatever you want to do. Smiled at me. Oh, the gifts.

I put the cock back on as I started writing this post, I am wearing this cock right now, and I can't believe how at home I feel. I want to learn how to fuck well with a cock. I want to get sweaty and tired like a man gets sweaty and tired from fucking. I want to say the things that men have said to me, "You like that cock? You like getting fucked by my big hard cock?" And I want to see the boy beneath me nod, yes, silently, biting his lip, the smile/grimace on his face saying it all. And I want it all. I want my cunt seizing and clenching and my clit swelling and hardening behind my harness. And then I want. Sweetness. Care. Those words, those things. That's what I want.

I do wait too long for things sometimes. Sometimes, I don't go after the things I want. Sometimes the things have to be brought to me and then I can accept them and I can give myself permission to enjoy the gift I could have given myself but was too afraid to do so. Like this cock. But now I just want to shower myself with good things. More good things. More things that feel good, that make me feel good, that make him feel good. More enjoying myself. More enjoying him. Because after all. Happiness is a real turn-on.

And I am really turned on.