The Daring Young Couple at La Trapeze: An Announcement of Sorts

So this last weekend, the boyfriend, who will henceforth be known as Adam, and I went to La Trapeze.

Which was…INTERESTING.

It’s a swingers club. Like on 17 between 5th and Madison. Janie’s here to tell you all about it. Because why shouldn’t I. There’s barely anything written on it online. Which makes this a fun opportunity!

Okay. So. You buzz the door. They let you in. You pay a guy at a window $120 for you and your guest (it’s a couples only club). He gave us some masks because it was masquerade summer sex in the city party night. Sort of a mixed party metaphor but whatever.

Okay, before I go there, let me just say that Adam and I were excited and nervous before going to La Trapeze. Of course. I mean, I was a bit more nervous than he was. He was being the cool one that night. One of us had to be. Once we got there, I was the one who wanted to get naked first (or rather, in a towel, towels here rule, everyone is in a freaking towel, it’s hilarious) but before, I was totes nervewracked, dude. Because I’d never been to a place like this. I had no idea what to expect, really. We had heard about the buffet which sort of grossed us out, frankly. But that was about it. We were looking for adventure. In a way, we found it…

After we paid, we walked through these double doors. And we were greeted with a sort of cheesy pub atmosphere. Kinda folksy and English. But tvs with very typical porn on them. There were lots of folks in their 50’s half dressed and eating from the buffet which had a sign that said “Please cover your lower torso when standing at the buffet.” Ha. Hilarious. There was a bar with mixers, no alcohol (BYOB). I sorta like that. The place is run by African men. Which was interesting. I wondered what it would be like to work there. In the end, I decided, it would be very weird. And possibly soul sucking. But a summer internship might be fun! Ha.

There’s like a hallway leading from the front buffet/bar area lined with tiny rooms. Private rooms for couples, really. But by the middle of the night, there were like 10 to a room. There were two larger rooms at the top of a short staircase. These rooms were covered in mats and linens. There were mirrors everywhere. There was a locker room to put our stuff. There was a spiral staircase which led to the official upstairs. Upstairs was basically a few small rooms with some sex furniture. Downstairs, there was also a dance floor and a disco ball and a stripper pole which mainly went unused. I mean, I never saw anyone use the stripper pole. I should have. Or Adam should have. He’s a pretty fun dancer. Can certainly get down in his own way. You know it!

At the beginning of the evening when Adam and I were just taking it all in, we decided to have some of the whiskey we brought. Always a good idea. Then we sat on a couch. Next to, I swear, the most attractive couple there! We talked to them for like an hour. They were so lovely! They told us how lucky we were to have each other. That was cute. They talked about their dreams of opening up high-class swinger clubs. We all laughed and drank together and the vibe was pretty cool, but I’m not gonna hold you in suspense—we didn’t hook up. Not sure if that’s because Adam and I were just too nervous to make some moves, or because they weren’t really *INTO us like that, or because they just wanted to chill and make some friends or whatever cuz they like always go to swinger events and know how to just be cool and stuff and knew we were newbies and wanted us to just like take it all in or something. We never saw them fucking at all. They made it into their towels. But they weren’t like doing it anywhere with anyone. I don’t think. Ha. I know. I sound like a high schooler. Dorkwad.

Things that happened at or because of or around or in connection to La Trapeze:

1) Adam and I got a private room. We fucked on a mattress with pretty nice sheets, actually. We kept the door unlocked so people would come in and watch us. No one did. Cuz it’s a private room. Duh.
2) We did it a lot in the big rooms. I figured out a new way to suck his cock which is more like suckling, as if the head of his cock is a nipple, in a way. It gets him hard very quickly. I did this a lot. We fucked a LOT.
3) When Adam spanked me, people went, “Ow that had to hurt!” but it didn’t really. It was like a cutesy spanking. Which is nice and sensual and not owey at all, duh.
4) Here is a point: SWINGERS ARE GENERALLY NOT KINKY PEOPLE. At least the ones we encountered. They have lots of vanilla sex. But in front of other people. Not kinky. Just exhibitionist. Which to me is not really a kink. Because I could care less who watches me have sex. It doesn’t necessarily turn me on. It’s not a guarantee pussy-wetter is what I’m saying.
5) A lot of people groped me while Adam and I fucked. NONE of them asked. NOT ONE. I told about four guys, No thanks. Most guys who touched me went for my asshole. Seriously. There are like no manners at La Trapeze.
6) Adam came on my butt at one point and I felt him rub it into my butt cheeks. SWEET. Then I turned around and he told me that the girl NEXT to me did that! That girl WAS VERY CUTE. A thin white girl with nice boobs, a collar around her neck, striped socks, and a blonde bob. She was VERY CUTE. She also had a fun sorta kinky vibe which was unique there! But. Her date was a creepy dude. Very creepy. He pointed to his dick while looking at me. Like, suck it. I didn’t want to. There is like NO COURTING PROCESS here. Dudes think if you’re there, you’re game. But I’m not, really. Not unless you’re a dude or a chick who is sexy and nice. Most people were kind of humorless. I’m sorry, but they were! (I am making no friends from La Trapeze here in this post.)
7) But blonde girl Jen was cute and nice and smiled a lot and said, You’re cute to me which was a legitimate compliment. I totally finger-banged her. Three fingers at one point. She was soaking. Then came the idea of me fucking Jen with a strap-on! Yay, good idea!
8) When we finally got a room, Jen, Adam, Jen’s creepy date, and I, SUDDENLY, TEN MORE PEOPLE POURED INTO THE ROOM. To watch the girl get fucked by another girl. I was like, no, not doing it and I left. Ha. I know. That might psych some people up, but even at the swingers club, I wanted INTIMACY. Adam supported me cuz he’s understanding and felt similarly.
9) But then we found another room and I got to fuck Jen for a while with the strap-on (used condoms, and it was her strap-on, which was too small, the harness, but I made it work) and that was fun. I asked her what the dildo was made of and she didn’t know and I told her about disinfecting it by boiling if it’s silicone but she just nodded politely, like I don’t care, just fuck me, so, I slipped on a condom, and like, did. Her vagina was sort of very easy to fuck cuz she was mad slippery. But then suddenly some other girl tried to finger me and bit my lip. She was an aggressive kisser and had long fingernails. Then some really big dude was grabbing my tits hard. It became too much. We left again. But Jen was nice. Jen, if you’re out there: call me! I want to teach you about safe sex, have you dump your boyfriend, buy you a new collar, and we can fuck and and you can fuck my boyfriend who thought you were very cute!!!
10) This man that looked like Santa Clause sort of stalked me the whole night. But he was sort of nice! I didn’t mind him so much by 4 am.
11) I gave Adam a massage with a nice older Latina woman who barely spoke any English. “You touch him here, he like it.” She had a nice vibe. Her man rubbed my shoulders and boobs from behind which was nice. But I told him to back off when he tried to finger my butt. What is up with that? Adam never saw the older Latina lady. He was on his tummy with his eyes closed. It was sort of lovely!
12) I came many times throughout the night. Adam fucked me really well over and over.
13) We drank lots of Makers Mark.
14) We looked for that couple we met at the beginning of the night. They were our favorite, and our base camp. But we realized that some friends fade in and out of your life—in like 45 minutes. But we saw them a few more times and they were always nice. But not fucking us. Ha. Maybe we should have made moves. Oh REGRET. Not a lot. A modicum.
15) We ate fruit salad from the buffet. They have free mixers, ice and cups there. That was nice.
16) I really learned how to say no at the swingers club. Basically every time I passed by a guy, he would touch my ass or boobs. That I let go. Because I would be saying no all the time if I didn’t and that gets tiring. If a guy was around while I was riding Adam, he would try to get at me somehow. I don’t like sex that’s THAT anonymous. And their tentative touching was somehow creepier than if they just grabbed my tits hard. Like. Sort of own your moves, creepy dudes.
17) AND NO CONDOMS ANYWHERE. I REPEAT. NO CONDOMS ANYWHERE. We figured there would BE BOWLS OF THEM. La Trapeze in no way fosters safe sex. This, to me, is not a sex positive thing.
18) But my boyfriend and I are sex positive.
19) And I am happy about that.
20) Very.

At 4 am, when we got home from La Trapeze, Adam and I were kinda tipsy and tired. We were all fucked out but parts of us still wanted to fuck and so we did. I even came. Adam was still hard but having a hard time coming, as he had about five times in the evening already. He needlessly jerked his cock hard, arching his back, tightening up his legs, breathing heavy and then he’d sigh and go, “Gah. Nope.”

You know how there comes a point when you want to come because you can, maybe, and you’re satisfied, but you still want to come, because you have a cock or a clit and why not? Well, it’s at this point when Adam asked:

“What are the chances of me just being able to shove my cock in your butt right now?”

I said, “1 in a 100. Try it, some guy just won the lottery in the Bronx, it might work!”

“What?” said Adam.

“Just shove it in,” I said. Stupidly. Ha. Course, he tried shoving his cock in my ass.

“Ow, it hurts,” Adam said. “It hurts my cock. You have the world’s smallest asshole. It’s genetic,” he murmured, but kept on trying to get in. Hey anal newbs: THIS IS THE WORST WAY TO TRY TO HAVE ANAL SEX. But I just laughed. There was no way it was going in. Barely any lube, no fingers, no tongue action. But he tried. So did I. We figured there was a small chance a slight sneak attack on my rosebud might work. It didn’t work. Adam just fell to the bed.

Minutes later, he finally came, after jerking off hard, sighing, “Ha. That didn’t even feel good.” We giggled. We fell asleep in each other’s arms. It doesn’t matter that the ending to the night was, in part, an anal disaster. Who cares? Who cares when it’s one moment in many? Being open to those moments. To all kinds of moments. That’s the ticket, I’m learning. And that’s an exciting realization in a relationship that, for me, has a way of getting more exciting.

Okay, so: Adam and I want to have safe sex with other couples who are hot and funny. This is not being picky. This is having standards. I am proud of these standards. Okay, maybe the people just have to be hot. Or just funny. We want our sex lives to include humor and experimentation. We want to be able to communicate with our lovers, not just reach out and grab them. It is a very exciting prospect for us. I think we can make it happen. I think we can find likeminded folk at other clubs, events, or parties. We don’t want to be TOO sceney. But we do want to find our place somewhere in the scene. To all the kinky fun happy sex positive swingers out there: I say: BRING IT. You know where to find me.

Us.