Sex Toy Review: SENSATIONS (it's a board game!)

So my boyfriend and I like to play games. Like sexy games. Such as sexual favor blackjack and I’m gonna blindfold you and sneak up on you after several minutes while you’re lying there all anxious and then molest you and how quickly can I make you cry with this riding crop games. These are fun games we like to play! Because we like to play fun games, I was very excited when I received the board game: Sensations! (A Sensuous Game for Lovers. Oooh.) My bf said it should have been named Sinsations. He’s so clever.



The game itself, however, is not very sinful. But it does come with fun things like massage oil, a blindfold, an hour glass (that’s like a minute glass, but really like a three minute glass), a little vibrator, some challenge cards, paper and pencils, and some favor coupons! And then there’s a board and two little game pieces. Two ugly game pieces. We thought they should have been in the shape of tits and a cock or something. It’s a game FOR LOVERS. Anyway. You roll the dice. You land on a square. And then you look at the key and figure out what the square is telling you to do.

Sometimes the square tells you to pick up a challenge card and do something fun like, “Put a treat somewhere on your body. Now blindfold your lover. Have him/her find the treat using just his/her sense of smell. If he/she finds the treat and licks it all up before time is up, he/she receives a favor coupon!” I smeared chocolate cake on my inner thigh. He found it. That was fun! But then sometimes you land on a square, and it has a symbol which means “Pick a number between 1 and 6. Roll the dice. If you thought of the number it lands on, you get a favor coupon!” See, that’s dumb. Telling the future? It should be like “Make your boyfriend come using only your mouth before time runs out. If you do this, you get a favor coupon. Now smear his come on your tits, you fucking slut. Who owns that cunt?” Or something. He would never say anything like that. He’s a nice boy.

Other challenges were like “Write your top five favorite vacation spots. As well as what you think your lover’s might be. Whoever guesses the most right gets a favor coupon.” That was kinda cute and fun and we actually learned something about one another there! Cute!

There were a lot of “give your partner a massage” spaces on the board, it seemed. But you’d have to spin two spinners to find out what was getting massaged by what. My boyfriend spun the spinner and got “buttocks” (mine) and “toes” (his). Which meant he had to give me a butt massage with his toes. Which just kind of made me laugh and hurt a little bit. Ha.

Anyway, not enough times does one land on a space on the board which requires to pick up a challenge card. And since the object of the game is to complete all the challenges and then count up who has receive the most favor coupons, it kinda stinks that there aren’t more opportunities to complete challenges. Cuz the game lasts for way too long. Like we played for over an hour and only got 5 favor coupons, and there’s like 30 challenge cards in the box. So you have to pretty much dedicate a whole day to playing Sensations. Which we weren’t prepared to do. And there weren’t enough kinky things, we thought.

Oh, sidenote: another weird challenge was write a 7 letter word on your lovers back using only your tongue. I wrote the word “buckets” on his back. He actually guessed it! We should have BOTH gotten favor coupons for that. But only he did! Which was annoying. My tongue worked hard! Doh.

Since the challenges go in order, I had a feeling they maybe got a little bit more hardcore as the game went on, and sure enough—they do! But we didn’t get that far in the game. Yeah, I cheated and looked. One of the last challenges read: “Turn your partner on using only your private parts. If you succeed, you get a favor coupon.” But private parts? Barf. Kindergarten language. And like I said, we didn’t get that far, cuz the game LASTS. SO. LONG. Basically they should have a 20 minute version of Sensations (Quickies!) and maybe a 2 hour version. Anyway.

That’s my major complaint. Length of play. And timidness of challenges. And not enough kink. But I think for some new couples just starting out, this game would be very fun! Just make sure to have some drinks on hand. And play naked. And allow yourself some fooling around or fuck breaks. Even if that means you might not ever finish the game, I think the point of it is really to create arousal and tension and work with your new natural chemistry. So make the game work for you is my advice. This is Janie Blooms. Out.

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